Contentment

    It has been two years since I failed nursing school and had to abruptly move home. I found work as a caregiver and my plan was to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and then pursue that. I have not made a life-changing decision since then. Some of my family and close friends bring this question to me: "So what do you want to do with your life?" of "Have you thought of what you want to do?" These questions have become tiring and annoying. I am not annoyed with my family and friends for asking these questions because I know they love me and want to see me happy and accomplishing things. I have been annoyed because I don't have an answer for them.
    For most of my life, all my plans were laid before me and I let other people make decisions for me. But now that those plans have failed I am being given the entire responsibility of making my own decisions now. At first it felt overwhelming because I all I had known was to depend on other people and their opinions for making my own decisions. It felt like I had been dumped in the middle of the ocean with no life raft or anything to save me. Or was that really the case? I feel like I cant commit to anything, I have so many options now and things I like but I cant seem to want to stick to one thing to make a career out of it. I felt like there was no plan in my life at all. Or was there?
    Over the last few years, and especially the last 6 months, I have been learning and coming to terms with the fact that there is a plan for me. God has a great plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I posted about this here a few months ago. So I was like, "Lord, show me your will!" Nothing. "Show me what to do in my life. Where do you want me?" Nothing. I believe that the Lord can speak to use through many different things. He may not always speak directly to us, but by putting certain godly desires in our hearts and showing us in that way where to go. So after not receiving any rush of the Spirit or a revival in me, it finally clicked. Maybe God wants you right here.
   Just thinking about that fact made me feel much better. I have pretty much a perfect job where I am helping others  and making an influence in their lives everyday, even though it doesn't always feel that way. And through this job I have a great opportunity to witness and bring the gospel to my patients. I also have an ideal living situation where I don't have to pay rent or any utility bills, and I can just concentrate on saving money to pay off my tuition bills. That is the wonderful blessing of living at home. So I truly believe that my lack of wanting to pursue another career right now is because this is where God wants me right now. This is where I can best serve Him and his Kingdom at this point in my life.
   Thus, God is teaching me to be content where I am in life: in relationships with family and friends, in my job, in my education situation, and in my church. All I can do to increase this contentment is to grow closer to God. And let me tell you, that has become such an amazing thing over the last few weeks. Paul says it perfectly, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13.
   I will still have struggles with this. Everyone does. But I know I can confidently say, in response to those questions, that "I believe that God wants me here and I am content with it."  :)

"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:5-6