In sorry it's been such a long time since I last wrote. I am starting a new chapter in my life right now, and have created a new blog for it. I am moving to Canada to be an MA(missionary associate) there for the next 9-10 months. I hope you can follow me through this new adventure that I am excited about. Here is the link: jennquebec.blogspot.com
God bless you!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Contentment
It has been two years since I failed nursing school and had to abruptly move home. I found work as a caregiver and my plan was to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and then pursue that. I have not made a life-changing decision since then. Some of my family and close friends bring this question to me: "So what do you want to do with your life?" of "Have you thought of what you want to do?" These questions have become tiring and annoying. I am not annoyed with my family and friends for asking these questions because I know they love me and want to see me happy and accomplishing things. I have been annoyed because I don't have an answer for them.
For most of my life, all my plans were laid before me and I let other people make decisions for me. But now that those plans have failed I am being given the entire responsibility of making my own decisions now. At first it felt overwhelming because I all I had known was to depend on other people and their opinions for making my own decisions. It felt like I had been dumped in the middle of the ocean with no life raft or anything to save me. Or was that really the case? I feel like I cant commit to anything, I have so many options now and things I like but I cant seem to want to stick to one thing to make a career out of it. I felt like there was no plan in my life at all. Or was there?
Over the last few years, and especially the last 6 months, I have been learning and coming to terms with the fact that there is a plan for me. God has a great plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I posted about this here a few months ago. So I was like, "Lord, show me your will!" Nothing. "Show me what to do in my life. Where do you want me?" Nothing. I believe that the Lord can speak to use through many different things. He may not always speak directly to us, but by putting certain godly desires in our hearts and showing us in that way where to go. So after not receiving any rush of the Spirit or a revival in me, it finally clicked. Maybe God wants you right here.
Just thinking about that fact made me feel much better. I have pretty much a perfect job where I am helping others and making an influence in their lives everyday, even though it doesn't always feel that way. And through this job I have a great opportunity to witness and bring the gospel to my patients. I also have an ideal living situation where I don't have to pay rent or any utility bills, and I can just concentrate on saving money to pay off my tuition bills. That is the wonderful blessing of living at home. So I truly believe that my lack of wanting to pursue another career right now is because this is where God wants me right now. This is where I can best serve Him and his Kingdom at this point in my life.
Thus, God is teaching me to be content where I am in life: in relationships with family and friends, in my job, in my education situation, and in my church. All I can do to increase this contentment is to grow closer to God. And let me tell you, that has become such an amazing thing over the last few weeks. Paul says it perfectly, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13.
I will still have struggles with this. Everyone does. But I know I can confidently say, in response to those questions, that "I believe that God wants me here and I am content with it." :)
"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:5-6
For most of my life, all my plans were laid before me and I let other people make decisions for me. But now that those plans have failed I am being given the entire responsibility of making my own decisions now. At first it felt overwhelming because I all I had known was to depend on other people and their opinions for making my own decisions. It felt like I had been dumped in the middle of the ocean with no life raft or anything to save me. Or was that really the case? I feel like I cant commit to anything, I have so many options now and things I like but I cant seem to want to stick to one thing to make a career out of it. I felt like there was no plan in my life at all. Or was there?
Over the last few years, and especially the last 6 months, I have been learning and coming to terms with the fact that there is a plan for me. God has a great plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I posted about this here a few months ago. So I was like, "Lord, show me your will!" Nothing. "Show me what to do in my life. Where do you want me?" Nothing. I believe that the Lord can speak to use through many different things. He may not always speak directly to us, but by putting certain godly desires in our hearts and showing us in that way where to go. So after not receiving any rush of the Spirit or a revival in me, it finally clicked. Maybe God wants you right here.
Just thinking about that fact made me feel much better. I have pretty much a perfect job where I am helping others and making an influence in their lives everyday, even though it doesn't always feel that way. And through this job I have a great opportunity to witness and bring the gospel to my patients. I also have an ideal living situation where I don't have to pay rent or any utility bills, and I can just concentrate on saving money to pay off my tuition bills. That is the wonderful blessing of living at home. So I truly believe that my lack of wanting to pursue another career right now is because this is where God wants me right now. This is where I can best serve Him and his Kingdom at this point in my life.
Thus, God is teaching me to be content where I am in life: in relationships with family and friends, in my job, in my education situation, and in my church. All I can do to increase this contentment is to grow closer to God. And let me tell you, that has become such an amazing thing over the last few weeks. Paul says it perfectly, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13.
I will still have struggles with this. Everyone does. But I know I can confidently say, in response to those questions, that "I believe that God wants me here and I am content with it." :)
"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:5-6
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Reflections
Tomorrow is the 4th of July. To many people on the globe, this is just another date on the calendar, but for many Americans this is a vacation filled holiday with pool parties, barbeques, and fire works. But for me I am spending it with my patient. I am planning on making an "all-American" meal for him that consists of hot dogs, corn on the cob, watermelon, and baked beans, but that is most likely all we will do to celebrate. He might appreciate the festive dinner, but he doesn't like to go out much and he certainly wouldn't be able to sit on the street watching the local parade, or stay up to watch fireworks. So it will be a simple day trying to stay cool as the air conditioner decided to quit working yesterday. This is my second year spending the 4th with my patient. I am not complaining, it isn't bad to get paid time-and-a-half to work this day, but I do miss spending it with my family.
The last time I got to spend the 4th with my family was in 2010. My family came out to Iowa to be there to celebrate my 21st birthday with me, so they were there for the 4th as well since my birthday is on the 8th. I did enjoy having them with me, but because it was in Iowa we did some different things than we would have done if we were all back home in California. The last time I was able to spend the 4th here in California with my family was back in 2009, I think. Four years ago. This year is really making me homesick for some reason. Probably because I miss the traditions of going to Grandma's house and swimming in their pool and having most of our extended family there. We would have a barbeque of course, and play games in the grass. Then later in the evening we would go see the firework show at the local community college, or it might have been Cal State Fullerton, not sure. But I do miss that greatly. I do have the hope of being able to spend the 4th with my family again in 2015. I figured out that the 4th will be on a Saturday that year, and if I am still in this same job I should have it off because I usually get Saturdays off!
I am very fortunate to be in the job I am in right now. God has blessed me with a good, stable, and well-paying job that allows me to take time of to travel and take a few vacations! I don't get paid for my time off, but I am fine with that. Speaking of vacations, I am going to Europe on Monday! I am flying out on the 8th, which is my birthday, and will be gone for three weeks. I will be in Prague for two weeks working with and English camp that my church has been supporting for many years. Then I am spending a few days in Rome afterward. So I am getting very excited about this trip. The last time I went to Prague was nine years ago when my church first started going to this English camp. Nine years is a long time. I have always been meaning to and wanting to go in the past years, but I never really had the opportunity or funds to do that until now. I was hoping to go again next year (make it an every 10 year trip ;)) but God provided for my Mom and I to go this year. I had the funds and had not made any previous plans for this summer so I was easily able to be added to the group. My company was so gracious to let me take off three weeks for this trip, I feel so blessed in being able to go.
I am sure that all of this is part of God's plan and I am excited to find out what He has in store for me in Prague. I am going to be an actual teacher this year instead of being a helper, so that has been nerve racking to say the least. But right now I am as ready and prepared as I ever will be with all my lesson plans and pictures ready. I know that I will be relying on God throughout this trip. We have been asked to be ready to give our testimony about why we are Christians and about what God means to us. I don't have a great conversion story or testimony and I am still learning about what God is for me in my life. So I have been nervous about that. I brought that up with my Bible Study leader and she pointed me to 1 Corinthians 2:1-2 where Paul said, "And I, when I came to you brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." I love that. Paul didn't need to know what to say. He only needed to know the truth about Jesus and through that he was able to testify to the Corinthians. So my prayer for this trip is that I will let God do the talking for me, that He will be shown to the Czechs through my testimony of love through my actions. I also pray that God will use this time to draw me closer to Him. I have been resisting His pull, but I want to let go and let God come into my heart completely.
I pray that you will grow closer to the God who is such a gracious and loving God to have sent His only Son to die for us, to pay our penalty so that we might be saved and experience God's love for us. May you have a blessed 4th of July with your family and know that we are greatly blessed to live where we live and to be able to serve and worship God openly. I hope that we will bless Him with our hearts full of gratitude and praise.
The last time I got to spend the 4th with my family was in 2010. My family came out to Iowa to be there to celebrate my 21st birthday with me, so they were there for the 4th as well since my birthday is on the 8th. I did enjoy having them with me, but because it was in Iowa we did some different things than we would have done if we were all back home in California. The last time I was able to spend the 4th here in California with my family was back in 2009, I think. Four years ago. This year is really making me homesick for some reason. Probably because I miss the traditions of going to Grandma's house and swimming in their pool and having most of our extended family there. We would have a barbeque of course, and play games in the grass. Then later in the evening we would go see the firework show at the local community college, or it might have been Cal State Fullerton, not sure. But I do miss that greatly. I do have the hope of being able to spend the 4th with my family again in 2015. I figured out that the 4th will be on a Saturday that year, and if I am still in this same job I should have it off because I usually get Saturdays off!
I am very fortunate to be in the job I am in right now. God has blessed me with a good, stable, and well-paying job that allows me to take time of to travel and take a few vacations! I don't get paid for my time off, but I am fine with that. Speaking of vacations, I am going to Europe on Monday! I am flying out on the 8th, which is my birthday, and will be gone for three weeks. I will be in Prague for two weeks working with and English camp that my church has been supporting for many years. Then I am spending a few days in Rome afterward. So I am getting very excited about this trip. The last time I went to Prague was nine years ago when my church first started going to this English camp. Nine years is a long time. I have always been meaning to and wanting to go in the past years, but I never really had the opportunity or funds to do that until now. I was hoping to go again next year (make it an every 10 year trip ;)) but God provided for my Mom and I to go this year. I had the funds and had not made any previous plans for this summer so I was easily able to be added to the group. My company was so gracious to let me take off three weeks for this trip, I feel so blessed in being able to go.
I am sure that all of this is part of God's plan and I am excited to find out what He has in store for me in Prague. I am going to be an actual teacher this year instead of being a helper, so that has been nerve racking to say the least. But right now I am as ready and prepared as I ever will be with all my lesson plans and pictures ready. I know that I will be relying on God throughout this trip. We have been asked to be ready to give our testimony about why we are Christians and about what God means to us. I don't have a great conversion story or testimony and I am still learning about what God is for me in my life. So I have been nervous about that. I brought that up with my Bible Study leader and she pointed me to 1 Corinthians 2:1-2 where Paul said, "And I, when I came to you brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." I love that. Paul didn't need to know what to say. He only needed to know the truth about Jesus and through that he was able to testify to the Corinthians. So my prayer for this trip is that I will let God do the talking for me, that He will be shown to the Czechs through my testimony of love through my actions. I also pray that God will use this time to draw me closer to Him. I have been resisting His pull, but I want to let go and let God come into my heart completely.
I pray that you will grow closer to the God who is such a gracious and loving God to have sent His only Son to die for us, to pay our penalty so that we might be saved and experience God's love for us. May you have a blessed 4th of July with your family and know that we are greatly blessed to live where we live and to be able to serve and worship God openly. I hope that we will bless Him with our hearts full of gratitude and praise.
Psalm 103:1-5
"Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Bless the Lord, O my soul.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Praise the LORD!!
My best friend Abby had her first baby this week! He was born May 21, 2013 at 3:30pm and weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. His name is Zebediah Michael Groenewold!
I am so thankful that my friend was able to deliver him safely. She has been struggling with high blood pressure for the last few months of her pregnancy. Her original due date was at the beginning of June, but because of blood pressure complications, her doctor wanted to have her induced early. We were all praying that she would not need to be induced because she had been uncertain of what that inducement would do to her baby. However, she did have to be induced and after 19 hours of labor, her son was born. Another special thing is that she and her husband did not know before the birth what the gender of the baby was. They had wanted to be surprised and learn what the child was the old-fashioned way. And I am sure they were very pleased to have a boy!
Thank you LORD for the blessing you have brought this family of a precious healthy baby boy. They are wonderful Christians who are strong in their faith and I know this boy is greatly blessed to have them as his parents. Praise the LORD!!!
I am so thankful that my friend was able to deliver him safely. She has been struggling with high blood pressure for the last few months of her pregnancy. Her original due date was at the beginning of June, but because of blood pressure complications, her doctor wanted to have her induced early. We were all praying that she would not need to be induced because she had been uncertain of what that inducement would do to her baby. However, she did have to be induced and after 19 hours of labor, her son was born. Another special thing is that she and her husband did not know before the birth what the gender of the baby was. They had wanted to be surprised and learn what the child was the old-fashioned way. And I am sure they were very pleased to have a boy!
Thank you LORD for the blessing you have brought this family of a precious healthy baby boy. They are wonderful Christians who are strong in their faith and I know this boy is greatly blessed to have them as his parents. Praise the LORD!!!
Friday, April 5, 2013
I DECLARE!!!
This is a truth that many of us forget. I must confess that I forget this a lot. It is hard to understand what God is doing with my life when I don't have my life figured out. I am seeing a lot of my friends graduating from college, working in their dream job, or a job that they know they want, and so many of my friends are getting married or having kids right now. I did not graduate from college, I am working right now but do not feel like this is a job I want for the rest of my life, and I am nowhere near having a relationship. So you can understand how easy it is for me to forget this fact that God IS in control and the He DOES have a plan for me!
I am thankful for where I am in my life and the Lord is teaching me how to be content in my situation. I am learning that your status of being "in a relationship" or not does not define who you are and that a diploma does not necessarily show how smart you are or how much you know about life. My job may not be what I was hoping for, but it is a good job where I get a lot of hours and have been able to have Sundays off since I first started! So God has blessed me with this job and I will be happy with it as long as I have this job.
Thus I will DECLARE that God does have a plan for me and that I am in it right now and what is to come will come in His time and not my own.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Thoughts on Prague
Spring is upon us, and I have been so busy these past months. I recently added more hours to my work schedule so now I work a full five days a week. I am thankfully able to spend time on most weekends with friends, that is always a blessing to me.
What has been really keeping me busy is the fact that I am going to Prague this summer. My church is a part of an English camp that happens there every year and this year I have the opportunity of being a teacher. I was very nervous when I started, still am, about creating lesson plans. I have never made lesson plans before. I do teach Sunday school at my church, but that barely ever requires preparation because it is already prepared and organized for you in the box you get at the beginning of the quarter. So I really had no idea what to do. I was able to talk to some teachers that I know and after reading and following the book given me for the lessons, I feel more confident. I actually have most of my lessons plans done so I am feeling good about this.
I am especially looking forward to going back to Prague. The last time I went was nine years ago back in 2004. So I am really looking forward to seeing that beautiful city again. I am going with my mom so that should be a nice trip, just the two of us. We are also planning on going down to see Rome for a few days after the camp. So this summer will be fun.
I just pray I can be a good witness to those Czechs who come to our camp. It would be wonderful if many of those campers come to know God through this camp.
What has been really keeping me busy is the fact that I am going to Prague this summer. My church is a part of an English camp that happens there every year and this year I have the opportunity of being a teacher. I was very nervous when I started, still am, about creating lesson plans. I have never made lesson plans before. I do teach Sunday school at my church, but that barely ever requires preparation because it is already prepared and organized for you in the box you get at the beginning of the quarter. So I really had no idea what to do. I was able to talk to some teachers that I know and after reading and following the book given me for the lessons, I feel more confident. I actually have most of my lessons plans done so I am feeling good about this.
I am especially looking forward to going back to Prague. The last time I went was nine years ago back in 2004. So I am really looking forward to seeing that beautiful city again. I am going with my mom so that should be a nice trip, just the two of us. We are also planning on going down to see Rome for a few days after the camp. So this summer will be fun.
I just pray I can be a good witness to those Czechs who come to our camp. It would be wonderful if many of those campers come to know God through this camp.
So just for fun, here is a picture of a painting I did last year of the spires in Prague.
Friday, January 25, 2013
New year, new me
It is now 2013. A new year has begun and people have made their new year's resolutions, some may be doing well with that resolution, others may have already failed that resolution. For me, my resolution this year is to grow closer to God. I want to have a better relationship with my Lord and Savior and this year I really plan on doing that. I started a 40 day fast 11 days ago. It has been tough giving up sweets, some days I have "cheated" and other days I do really well. But the one thing I am feeling good about through this is my devotional time with God. I have been spending more time almost every day in God's word and in some theological books. I have learned so much about God's love, His faithfulness, His holiness, His justice and His mercy. I have also learned much about my own weakness and my unholiness. I am learning more about what it is to me more like God and to grow in Him. So through this time of fasting I have seen some growth, and I pray and hope to see more.
My holiday season was such a blessing to me. I was able to celebrate it with both sides of my family and with friends. It rained a lot but with the rain come rainbows. I was reminded even more of God's love and mercy towards us through the rain, snow and ice (yes we had snow and ice in San Diego). So here are a few pictures of my time with family and friends.
My holiday season was such a blessing to me. I was able to celebrate it with both sides of my family and with friends. It rained a lot but with the rain come rainbows. I was reminded even more of God's love and mercy towards us through the rain, snow and ice (yes we had snow and ice in San Diego). So here are a few pictures of my time with family and friends.
Our Christmas tree.
Double rainbows!!
New Year's Eve in Los Angeles
Delicious food with family.
Fun times at the Rose Parade.
Rose parade.
Frost on my car.
"I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth."
Genesis 9:11
P.S. It rained today! :)
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